LYRICS - You & Me & Walt Disney - Helen Arney Darling, it's our wedding anniversary next week My gift for you is carefully chosen It's perfect for the couple who have everything I'm getting us both cryogenically frozen So it's You and Me and Walt Disney Dancing and singing in the 25th century Living the future Held together by sutures Ice cubes forming in our brains Industrial antifreeze running through our veins Now I've looked into this quite carefully It turns out there's a lot of contradiction "Disney on Ice" isn't literal And that episode of Doctor Who was fiction So it's You and Me but no Walt Disney Just some baseball players and 70s hippies Don't shake their hands You'll get more than you planned And please stop flirting with your great great great great great great great... ...great great great great great granddaughter's friend Just want to please you Just want to freeze you You don't seem too overjoyed, my love But it's too late to get a refund And the truth is I never liked your body much So I have only paid to get your head done Don't have a seizure It's just a freezer It's you and me, in the 305th century I'll keep your brain in a mechanical jar-on-wheels First cryonic Then bionic And we will be together Though our skin will be like leather But at least we'll be together again Darling don't complain It's just liquid Nitrogen Some people say I've got more money than sense The truth is that I have neither I bought a package from some cutprice cowboys in Russia Who didn't build a door for your freezer You're so lovely But your brain is slush puppy So it's just me at minus 200 degrees I'm waiting for the 35th century I have no regrets Except not wearing a vest And maybe I should just have bought you that Discount home cremation kit instead
Helen Arney London, UK
"Geek Songstress" Helen Arney is the UK's finest purveyor of comedy songs with a scientifically verified
"Champion of musical whims" Evening Standard
**** ”Harnesses the spirit of Ben Folds & the Divine Comedy’s Neil Hannon… delightful” (Chortle)
Also one third of Festival of the Spoken Nerd and author of "The Element In The Room"
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