You and Me and Walt Disney

from by Helen Arney

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The most romantic song ever written about cryogenic freezing, by geek songstress Helen Arney.

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LYRICS - You & Me & Walt Disney - Helen Arney

Darling, it’'s our wedding anniversary next week
My gift for you is carefully chosen
It’'s perfect for the couple who have everything
I’'m getting us both cryogenically frozen

So it's You and Me and Walt Disney
Dancing and singing in the 25th century
Living the future
Held together by sutures
Ice cubes forming in our brains
Industrial antifreeze running through our veins

Now I'’ve looked into this quite carefully
It turns out there'’s a lot of contradiction
“"Disney on Ice”" isn'’t literal
And that episode of Doctor Who was fiction

So it’'s You and Me but no Walt Disney
Just some baseball players and 70s hippies
Don’'t shake their hands
You’'ll get more than you planned
And please stop flirting with your great great great great great great great...
...great great great great great granddaughter’'s friend

Just want to please you
Just want to freeze you

You don'’t seem too overjoyed, my love
But it’'s too late to get a refund
And the truth is I never liked your body much
So I’ have only paid to get your head done

Don’'t have a seizure
It'’s just a freezer

It’'s you and me, in the 305th century
I’'ll keep your brain in a mechanical jar-on-wheels
First cryonic
Then bionic
And we will be together
Though our skin will be like leather
But at least we'’ll be together again

Darling don’'t complain
It’'s just liquid Nitrogen

Some people say I’'ve got more money than sense
The truth is that I have neither
I bought a package from some cutprice cowboys in Russia
Who didn't build a door for your freezer

You'’re so lovely
But your brain is slush puppy

So it'’s just me at minus 200 degrees
I’'m waiting for the 35th century
I have no regrets
Except not wearing a vest
And maybe I should just have bought you that
Discount home cremation kit instead


from You and Me and Walt Disney, released October 5, 2011
Words, music, vocals and ukulele by Helen Arney

Production and all other instruments by Olly the Octopus

Video by Chris Ollis



all rights reserved


Helen Arney Islington, UK

Musical Comedian. Geek Songstress.

Helen Arney is a purveyor of the finest comedy songs

"Champion of musical whims" Evening Standard
One of Dave TV's "Top 10 stand-ups to see in 2011"
**** ”Harnesses the spirit of Ben Folds & the Divine Comedy’s Neil Hannon… delightful” (Chortle)

One third of Festival of the Spoken Nerd and half of the Balconettes, her songs have been heard on BBC Radio 4
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