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Laboratory Christmas Party

from An Album Of Unnecessary Detail by Helen Arney

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about

A song about unrequited love across the laboratory bench, written and performed by Helen Arney. As heard on A Podcast Of Unnecessary Detail, Episode 3.3

lyrics

This time last year
At the laboratory Christmas party, down the Wetherspoons, I gave you my heart
But it’s not like that song by Wham, no ma’am, I promise
You could have given it away, the very next day
And I wouldn’t mind
You could have sneaked into my chest, made a cardiac arrest
That would be fine

It’s been a year
And I’m still working here, even though I said I wouldn’t be, and my crush on you is crushing me
And like the coke machine in the canteen, I’m empty inside
Last week I asked to borrow a test tube
Just to feel your hand in mine
Tonight I’ll stop this charade, ask you to dance with me to Slade,
And hope you’ll say... “Fine”

And now the party’s here
We’re standing with our beers by the pool table, and you’re holding hands with our manager Steve even though your facebook status says that you’re single
Why does the internet always lie?
You’ve been given a promotion
You don’t want my drink tokens
I think my heart is broken
I wish I had never spoken to you
At last year’s laboratory Christmas party

credits

from An Album Of Unnecessary Detail, released September 1, 2020

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all rights reserved

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Helen Arney London, UK

"Geek Songstress" Helen Arney is the UK's finest purveyor of comedy songs with a scientifically verified twist.

"Champion of musical whims" Evening Standard
**** ”Harnesses the spirit of Ben Folds & the Divine Comedy’s Neil Hannon… delightful” (Chortle)

Also one third of Festival of the Spoken Nerd and author of "The Element In The Room" ... more

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