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Traditional Family Christmas Argument

from It's Going to Be an Awkward Christmas, Darling by Helen Arney

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lyrics

LYRICS - Traditional Family Christmas Argument

Holly berries glisten in the snow
Robins hop and chirp outside the window
Stars light up the celestial firmament
The real meaning of Christmas is a family argument

On their best behaviour, no arguments all day yeah,
Christmas Day’s been fraught, tempers running short
Who’s going to burst, who’ll blow a fuse first?
The lights on tree, or a member of the family?

Holly berries glisten in the snow
Robins hop and chirp outside the window
Stars light up the celestial firmament
The real meaning of Christmas is a good old traditional family argument

Mother, father, uncle start a bet
On when Grandpa will leave
And let them get on with their Christmas day without him getting in the way

They think that he’s dozing full of Eat Me Dates
But he had one ear open to their sweepstake
Grandpa says “I’ll put on a tenner, on me not leaving ‘til September”

Holly berries glisten in the snow
Robins hop and chirp outside the window
Stars light up the celestial firmament
The real meaning of Christmas is a good old traditional
Unprovoked and all inclusive family argument

Father mutters all he wants from Santa Claus, is a quick divorce (quick divorce)
Mother sobs how could our Christmas bliss, have come to this? (come to this)
Uncle Jerry says forget peace and goodwill, I’m gonna kill (gonna kill)
Grandpa arms himself with mistletoe, thinks this’ll blow (this’ll blow)

“At Christmas play and make good cheer, For Christmas comes but once a year” (Thomas Tusser)

Holly berries moulder in the snow
Robins screech and peck outside the window
Snow clouds hide the celestial firmament
The real meaning of Christmas is
A good old traditional
Sherry-flowing, turkey-throwing
Mind-bending, never ending
Present wrapping, spirit sapping
Carol singing, bauble flinging
Deck the halls with confrontation
Anger and recrimination
Good old traditional
Completely unconditional
Unprovoked and all inclusive family argument

credits

from It's Going to Be an Awkward Christmas, Darling, released December 1, 2010
Words & Music - Helen Arney & Paul Richards
Harp - Kat Arney
Additional instruments and production - Martin Randle

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about

Helen Arney London, UK

"Geek Songstress" Helen Arney is the UK's finest purveyor of comedy songs with a scientifically verified twist.

"Champion of musical whims" Evening Standard
**** ”Harnesses the spirit of Ben Folds & the Divine Comedy’s Neil Hannon… delightful” (Chortle)

Also one third of Festival of the Spoken Nerd and author of "The Element In The Room"
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