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lyrics

LYRICS - Only Monopoly

Darling, lunch won’t be ready for ages
Sweetheart, get a board game, that’ll fill the day
But Dearest, you always beat me whatever the game is
My love, that’s exactly why I want to play…

It’s only Monopoly
Don’t look at me stroppily
In our relationship you’ve always had the upper hand
You wanna play Monopoly
To get one up on me
Don’t think I’ll let you win just because you are my man

Darling, I’m not normally competitive
But this is our relationship’s ultimate test
Please don’t hold it against me if
I make an ill-judged joke about community chest
In this game I took a Chance and now I’m doing pretty well
I’ve got Bow Street, Trafalgar Square and Marylebone
Straight away you landed up in Jail
The only house you own is on the Old Kent Road

Ha ha it’s only Monopoly
But you’re getting all your parking for free
This was my idea, I can’t complain
It’s only Monopoly
But I’m playing it properly
Yes I think I’ll have another hotel, on my Park Lane

My love I’m not enjoying your smirks
This isn’t how I wanted it to be
Last year you lost and turned on the water works
Now you own both utilities
Sweetheart, I’m only doing what you asked
Why all this rancour?
For once I’m having an absolute blast
But you’re behaving like a proper little banker

It’s only Monopoly
But I wish it would stop-oly
She just screamed and punched the air
It’s only Monopoly
A silly little game with paper money
Now you owe me two thousand pounds for landing on Mayfair

(tapdancing boot solo)

It’s only Monopoly – I know it’s only Monopoly
But I can’t afford any more rent
You own it all from Pall Mall to Piccadilly
My love and my money are almost spent
You’re right, my dear, it’s only Monopoly
I’ll still love you even after you’ve lost
But I can’t help smiling at your imminent bankruptcy
Now your top hat has landed on my Kings Cross

It’s more than Monopoly
Much more than Monopoly
We call it Monopoly
But actual-opoly
It’s war

credits

from It's Going to Be an Awkward Christmas, Darling, released December 1, 2010
Words and music by Helen Arney & Paul Richards
Additional vocals by Tom McDonnell
Additional instruments and production by Martin Randle

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Helen Arney London, UK

"Geek Songstress" Helen Arney is the UK's finest purveyor of comedy songs with a scientifically verified twist.

"Champion of musical whims" Evening Standard
**** ”Harnesses the spirit of Ben Folds & the Divine Comedy’s Neil Hannon… delightful” (Chortle)

Also one third of Festival of the Spoken Nerd and author of "The Element In The Room"
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