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It's Going to Be an Awkward Christmas, Darling Part 1

from It's Going to Be an Awkward Christmas, Darling by Helen Arney

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lyrics

LYRICS - It's going to be an awkward Christmas, darling - part 1

Family’s out, house to himself
They’re worshipping at the only open supermarket – emptying every
Shelf of reduced to clear canapés
Broken crackers, chocolate calendars, and half price cranberry puree

Peace and quiet, carol singers on the telly
Feet on the sofa, scratching his belly
Waiting for the feast,
With a sense of relief cos
Last week on the phone he broke up with his girlfriend,
He thinks that’s what he did, it was hard to define
Through all of the tears from her end of the line
He said “the distance between us has ruined it for me
Life’s not always like Gavin and Stacey”
He’s proud to say he’s a Christmas Single today.

Out of the blue a doorbell rings
She’s there carrying presents for her and presents for him
Drove 300 miles just to bring them and say hello
Now she’s shivering on the doorstep in the snow

Family roll up, delighted to see her
Offer her a discount mince pie flavoured mini pizza
Glad she made it
She’s their favourite

In a heartbeat they’re pretending that everything’s fine
Standing holding hands in awful Christmas sweaters
Lovingly knitted by her barmy Auntie Greta,
She’s so happy to pretend she never got dumped
He don’t wanna upset his mum
So they go with the flow, like a family panto

It’s going to be an awkward Christmas darling
December 25 will be uncomfortable, honey
It’s going to be an awkward Christmas darling,
The Queen’s speech will be unbearable, baby

credits

from It's Going to Be an Awkward Christmas, Darling, released December 1, 2010
Words and music by Helen Arney & Paul Richards
Extra vocals by Tom McDonnell
Additional instruments and production by Martin Randle

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about

Helen Arney London, UK

"Geek Songstress" Helen Arney is the UK's finest purveyor of comedy songs with a scientifically verified twist.

"Champion of musical whims" Evening Standard
**** ”Harnesses the spirit of Ben Folds & the Divine Comedy’s Neil Hannon… delightful” (Chortle)

Also one third of Festival of the Spoken Nerd and author of "The Element In The Room"
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